Lack of posts does not translate to lack of wedding work. Things have really gotten busy around here as we head into the final month before the wedding. I had my first minor wedding freak out (a lot more no's on the RSVP cards than we were anticipating), a frustrating shoe search, and the harried realization that I had nothing to wear for my engagement photos that culminated in a lucky break at a thrift shop with a $12 dress!
Currently on the docket: figuring out the ceremony (readings, vows, etc), figuring out flowers (eeek!).
I am a lover of poetry, but I also wanted wedding readings that weren't cookie cutter. This stems from a long line of wedding gigs in my past. There's only so many times you can hear the Irish blessing (May the road rise to meet you...) and Corinthians (Love is Patient, love is kind...). I personally adore Corinthians, but I don't think of it as a wedding reading. It reminds me more of my grandparents and their commitment to family and loving them.
So I wanted to search around for things that weren't too flowery. I wanted readings that reflected our views on marriage and our commitment to really working hard to maintain our relationship to keep it strong and healthy. Poetry of the "how do I love thee, let me count the ways" variety wasn't really as deep as I wanted. I can make a list all day long about what I love about John.
I don't want to reveal the readings, but I thought I might include some of the gems I found in my search, in case anybody else is in the same boat and looking for some good options. For more, check out this forum post
here.
An excerpt from "A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway
At night, there was the feeling that we had come home, feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other one there, and not gone away; all other things were unreal. We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too so one was not alone. Often a man wishes to be alone and a woman wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others. We were never lonely and never afraid when we were together.
Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda (gotta love Neruda!)
I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
STILL LIFE WITH WOODPECKER
--Tom Robbins
The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and the vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. Loving makes love. Loving makes itself. We waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love. Wouldn't that be the way to make love stay?
i love you much(most beautiful darling) ee cummings
i love you much(most beautiful darling)
more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky
-sunlight and singing welcome your coming
although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
noone can quite begin to guess
(except my life)the true time of year-
and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone’s heart at your each
nearerness)everyone certainly would(my
most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love
Untitled (from a book of Ancient Egyptian poetry)
My love is back, let me shout the news!
My arms swing wide to embrace her,
And heart pirouettes in its dark chamber
glad as a fish when the night shades the pool.
You are mine, my love, mine to eternity,
mine from the day you first whispered my name!
Pathways (Rainer Maria Rilke)
Understand, I’ll slip quietly
away from the noisy crowd
when I see the pale
stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.
I’ll pursue solitary pathways
through the pale twilit meadows,
with only this one dream:
You come too.
Confucius trans. Cary F. Baynes
Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings.
Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again.
Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words,
There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence.
But when two people are at one in their inmost hearts,
They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze.
And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts,
Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.
To keep your marriage brimming (Ogden Nash)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it;
Whenever you’re right shut up.
