In lieu of a ring bearer pillow...

Yes, I cut a hole into a vintage book. It wasn't the most kind I've ever been. But, to be fair, I tried to read the book first, and it was dry as dust. I kid you not. With a title like "Their Wedding Journey" I expected a sweet romance that ends with a wedding. 

Nope. It's a story about some boring Victorian couple who take their honeymoon way after their wedding. Also the bride is slightly older than most brides (which in those days probably meant she was like 22 or something). The honeymoon is pretty much to Niagara Falls. The book wastes time on pedantic descriptions of the travel conditions and awful, awful dialogue.

I say this to justify myself, but really, I don't feel that bad. If the book had been more interesting I would have kept it as is and displayed it on a table or something.

But the hole in the book didn't look like much until I added a small ring box and teal ribbon (not to mention the rings!). The ribbon was courtesy of my maid of honor, who had brought it to tie treat bags at the bachelorette party, because yes, she made party favors for my bachelorette party. She is so classy and southern and I love her to death. The ribbon looks green in the photos, but I took the photos at night, so that's probably why. Blame it on lightbulbs+no ambient light+my camera skills.

Why did I even bother, you ask? I mean, I could have handed Andy the rings in a regular little ring box, he could have kept them in a pocket, and not have a huge book to carry around. Well, the answer is ring-warming.

Alex, one of the groomsmen thought I said "ring-worming" when I first told him about it. Not quite the same. This is the point in the wedding ceremony planning where couples decide they need to add another layer of meaning and ritual, and basically make up their own. Some of these ideas catch on and are used in many weddings.

I've seen couples planting trees using the soil from their childhood homes (so cute). I've seen unity candles, where your mothers light a candle representing your family and you take those candles and light a larger candle representing your new family (I've also seen brides and grooms then proceed to blow out their family candles, which bugs me every time because I don't like the symbolism there). I've seen sand ceremonies where it looks a little like sand art you do at summer camp and then you display this random hurricane vase full of sand in your wedding colors on your mantel in your new home (not as cute, but practical for a beach wedding I suppose).

But I found one that I really thought would fit John and I. A ring warming is where you actually pass the rings through your guests. The idea is that they will hold the rings for a moment, think of a wish or prayer for the couple, and pass them on. By the time the rings come back, they are then stronger and more precious since they contain the love and support of your friends and family.

What I like about this ceremony is how it recognizes everybody: not simply your mom and dad or your immediate families. I know that my relationship with John is the result of a lot of conversations with friends (especially before we were together when they were all trying to convince me that John was madly in love with me and I should pursue it). They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I also think  it takes a community of family and friends supporting your marriage for it to truly succeed.

Thus, we had a ring warming. I could have placed the rings on a pillow (and I had ideas to cover one with vintage handkerchiefs or scraps of my grandmother's lace), but it seemed so strange to me to have a pillow when we didn't have any small children to act as the ring bearer. Andy with a frilly little pillow? Funny, but not quite right.

This was one of my favorite details from the wedding. Our officiant explained how I had made the wedding bands as a tribute to my grandmother, so the ring warming took on an extra significance as the guests examined my handiwork and gave us their blessings.

At first I wondered if this was going to be cheesy in practice, but I had so many people at the reception tell me it was a beautiful, meaningful idea and a wonderful way to include the guests in the ceremony. My aunt was in tears thinking of her mom making wedding bands and me carrying on the tradition. I was beaming as I watched the book travel through our families and friends and I really felt that it added something to the exchange of rings to feel all that love and support radiating out from our loved ones.