Sunday Night Pop Tarts

But of course. It's Sunday night, we're all tired of studying and paper writing. Grab a lame box of pop tarts so the sugar fuels your brain, which thrives, after all, on glucose.

WRONG. I'm friggin' baking them from scratch. Just pulsed the flour and the butter with a little salt and sugar in the food processor. Wha-BAM. Dough chilling in fridge, waiting for me to roll it out in a bit once it firms up (and I've read another article on aesthetics and musical narrativity).

I would take pictures, but I'm no food photographer. Also, it's night time. Not really optimal light for this. Not like here, in the recipe.

Now, granted, we have barely a scrape of Nutella left in the fridge, and it's not exactly top shelf strawberry jam (I'm looking at you, Kroger brand strawberry preserves). But it will do, and the homemade pastry will set it all to rights.

It's super easy.

Here's two versions for y'all, so I'll make it in the form of a choose your own adventure:

Pg. 1
After a long day of reading and many, many pages, you decide not to read that Tarasi essay on musical narrativity in Chopin that was on your to-do list, and you find yourself in your kitchen, craving something with strawberry in it. You decide to make homemade pop tarts.

Do you: 
a) Decide to make the puff pastry from scratch? If so, go to pg. 2 
or b) Find an easier way? If so, go to pg. 3



Pg. 2 

The make your own pastry dough version

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 3/4 tsp. sugar (I used vanilla sugar, because I'm obsessed with it)
2 sticks (!) of butter, cubed up (cubing it was the fun part. I cut it in thirds twice to make a little 9x9 grid then sliced thin pats off. Perfect cubes!)

Pulse this all in a food processor until it resembles dough. Or, if you're me, knead it all together with your (clean) hands until it comes together. Stick it in the fridge for a half hour to an hour.

While the dough chills, do you: 
a) get back to your readings and set a timer? If so, go to pg. 4
or b) Waste time on the internet for half an hour to an hour? If so, go to pg. 4



Pg. 3
The busy grad student version)

Buy pre-made pie crust from store. Open tube, unroll.
Go to pg. 5


Pg. 4


Half an hour (or an hour) passes. You are either productive or you're not; that's between you and your Schopenhauer.
Go to pg. 5




Pg. 5


You roll out the dough on a floured surface, slice it with a small knife (or a pizza cutter) into rectangles, then place the rectangles on your cookie sheet. Spread a couple tablespoons of preserves, nutella, or any other desired fillings into the center. You can either put preserves to one side and fold a rectangle over on itself, or you can put preserves in the center and top it with a second rectangle of dough, depending on how much dough you want.

Crimp the edges a bit with a fork to try to seal it up. Poke a few holes in the top with a fork.

Bake at 375 degrees F for 25-30 minutes. Done.

Now GET BACK TO WORK!