Martha Explains Cake

1. White Butter Cake

2. Moist Yellow

3. Almond Dacquoise (who has ever heard of that word before? Certainly not me)

4. Lemond Poppy Seed

5. Carrot Cake

6. Red Velvet

7. Marble

8. Chocolate Butter

1. Caramel Sauce

2. Caramel Cream Cheese Frosting

3. Chocolate Ganache

4. Lemon Curd

5. Swiss Merengue Buttercream

6. Chocolate Buttercream

7. Apricot Jam

8. Pistachio Buttercream

9. Cream Cheese Frosting

10. Raspberry Preserves

Doesn't that just make you want to go on a cake tasting, right now? I would love to go to some bakeries and eat little tiny pieces of cake with different fillings. Sounds like a fun way to spend a day!

In case the print is a little small, I wanted to share an adorable little chart about what your cake flavor says about you (total bull, but entertaining nonetheless):

a) Vanilla- Sophisticated

b) Lemon- Tart and Sexy

c) Strawberry- Romantic

d) Chocolate- Masculine

e) Mint- Cool

f) Carrot- Spicy

g) Almond- Traditional

h) Fruit- Open-Minded

I think they're a little silly. Vanilla is safe and boring. Sophisticated to me would be something gourmet/foodie, an unusual flavor pairing. Here's what it should be (totally kidding, by the way):

a) Vanilla- Boring, playing it safe. You are probably two white people getting married.

b) Lemon- You are settling for your groom, and the cake is a way of saying, "Life gave me lemons, I had the baker make a lemon cake with them."

c) Strawberry- You like Bjork ("Naked man, naked man, please come down, I'll get you some strawberry cake or something").

d) Chocolate- You are having an internet-meme-themed wedding. The cake is to go with the chocolate fountain, representing Chocolate Rain.

e) Mint- Your groom has halitosis; the cake should help.

f) Carrot- You are marrying a rabbit.

g) Almond- You don't like your second cousin, who has a nut allergy. NO CAKE FOR THEM

h) Fruit- Your nod to your groom, who wanted to serve Skittles at the reception so that guests could taste the rainbow.